Friday, August 19, 2011

Fickle Friends

I am not a very open person. It takes me a long time to open up. I am mouthy and have a hard exterior. This is only because once I consider you a friend you are a friend for life.
Few people know my whole story, few know where the hardness comes from. The ones that do know don't question it. They roll with the punches.
Recently I handed my heart to a group of people with great apprehension. I know better. People are fickle. They change their loyalties with the blink of a trend. As I expected the minute my life got hectic and I had to focus on me and my family they quickly disappeared. Fickle.
The experience only makes me mad at myself. Mad for trusting and opening up my heart. This anger has translated into some amazing work outs though. I have so much pent up frustration I just ignore the burn in my legs. I am in the best shape I have ever been in my life.
In the last month my family also lost someone very close. A man that I have know my whole life and that was my father's best friend. Red was his name. Uncle Red. I never new him by anything else. He is gone. He had been suffering from Parkinson's for a long time so his death was bitter sweet and hurt horribly. He was my dad's friend for life. Never Fickle.
I know this is a weight loss blog so maybe it will help to read how I use the pain to push myself. The time on the road is better than therapy for me. It is fuel for my fire. What fuels you?