I am a choo-choo train..

Jeramy recently pointed out I am a choo choo train and not a race car. I can just keep going and going and going. This made me laugh because it is true. I just went to www.fatcyclist.com to read his blog and it brings back so many memories of when my grandmother was dying. She is the reason I turned my life around and got control of my health. I wanted to fight, to live every day to the fullest until the very end and I still do. I wish she could be here to see what I have done, to watch me cross the finish line next weekend but she won't. She lived her life and now I am finally living mine. I am so tired, sore and I have a chest cold. My Grandfather's dementia is at a level 5 now and his pulse is down to 30 yet when I saw him he was still full of a little spunk and made me laugh. After he is gone all I have left of my immediate family is my Mom and Brother. I think of how lonely it is sometimes not being able to call my Dad or Grandma and have that shoulder to cry on or just the support and unconditional love they always gave. I recently had a friend tell me she remembered how much she admired my strength when my dad passed. I must of projected something completely different on the outside compared to what I was feeling on the inside. I remember how hard it was for him to walk the length of our yard towards the end because the circulation was so bad in his legs, defeating for a man that used to play AA Baseball . So next weekend as my knees hurt and my lungs burn, just when I don't think I can do it anymore I will remember how hard my Dad and Grandma fought until the end. No matter how long it takes me I will cross the finish line.

The tic-toc of the clock is painful.....

My first triathlon is 5 weeks away and I am doubting my abilities. My goal since starting this journey has been just to finish. Now, I have some set times in my head. The swim should take me about 10 minutes (I hope). I have never swam with a large group of people and honestly it terrifies me but I am sure we will all be adults about it. The ride should not take me any longer than 30 minutes. It is a flat 9 mile course and then there is the run. I should be able to walk/run the 5k in around 40 minutes. These times are slow honestly, my dear hubby will be done in about half of the time but to lose the amount of weight I have lost and cross the finish line of a triathlon will be enough for me.
I need to start adding bricks to my training. Right now I either ride, lift or run with a day of zumba and a 45 minute elliptical routine thrown in. I work out about 15 hours a week between cycling and the gym. Next week I need to ride to the gym and run and then ride home. I am also switching to smoothies for breakfast. I can't seem to find a cereal with the right sugar levels. I either get the shakes and upset tummy from too much sugar or I get light headed and tired from not enough. The smoothie seems to be the right balance and I can add protien to make up for the fact that I barely ever eat meat.
So on the weightloss front I lost 1 pound last week. Yay! Seriously after all of the crap that went wrong here that one pound feels like twenty. Also, our WW summer challenge started and I am again on a wonderful team of determined women. They are the little bit of extra support I need. So many of them call me an insperation but seriously when I read about the things they have done and both their scale victories and NSV's I am both proud and remotivated. Loser Vibes to all :o)

It all started with a flat tire.

Sunday before last was father's day and Jeramy and I decided to ride the trail from Marne to Muskegon. 52 ish miles round trip. Outside of Muskegon I got a flat. A little tiny sharp rock did my rear wheel in and when Jeramy went to change it the stem came off the spare. So Jeramy took off towards the truck. Thankfully I downloaded Smarter than a 5th Grader on the cell.
Two days later the thermostat blew in my 90 gallon fish tank sending the heater to 95 degrees, death by cooking 5 cichlids. Wednesday rolls around and there is something wrong with our water pressure and I wake up Thursday morning to a flooded basement form a broken line down in the well. Our basement is now gutted. Carpet, vinyl,tile, toilet, vanity...all gone. It is slowly being rebuilt but you an definitely tell these people work by the hour. We are getting a totally new basement out of this but it is hard to wait and even harder knowing that $5,000 of your personal belongings were ruined and we have to sit around and wait for our insurance check to replace them. All in all the damage came in right around $12,000. Adding to our chaos Jeramy got stung in the eye by a wasp Saturday while giving Chloe her new bike. He is allergic so you can imagine what his face looked like even though he promptly took his steroids.
Rehashing this on a weight loss blog seems odd, right? Not really. How many times have all of us let life's little bumps throw us off of our healthy habits? I will not lie I did break a little and ending up eating Taco Bell. I ate it, got over it, wrote it down and moved on. I knew I couldn't let the stress dictate my food choices and I am still fighting it. It is easier once I am done working out but it is just proof that each and every day it is still a struggle to overcome my addiction. Fatty food makes me sick, I actually get a "hangover" from it but I still crave it. It is times this this, when I feel so mentally beat down that I can sit and realize I am still in control and be proud of how far I have come...Of course one more thing goes wrong and you may find me knee deep and cheesecake and screaming for a way out.