I am a choo-choo train..

Jeramy recently pointed out I am a choo choo train and not a race car. I can just keep going and going and going. This made me laugh because it is true. I just went to www.fatcyclist.com to read his blog and it brings back so many memories of when my grandmother was dying. She is the reason I turned my life around and got control of my health. I wanted to fight, to live every day to the fullest until the very end and I still do. I wish she could be here to see what I have done, to watch me cross the finish line next weekend but she won't. She lived her life and now I am finally living mine. I am so tired, sore and I have a chest cold. My Grandfather's dementia is at a level 5 now and his pulse is down to 30 yet when I saw him he was still full of a little spunk and made me laugh. After he is gone all I have left of my immediate family is my Mom and Brother. I think of how lonely it is sometimes not being able to call my Dad or Grandma and have that shoulder to cry on or just the support and unconditional love they always gave. I recently had a friend tell me she remembered how much she admired my strength when my dad passed. I must of projected something completely different on the outside compared to what I was feeling on the inside. I remember how hard it was for him to walk the length of our yard towards the end because the circulation was so bad in his legs, defeating for a man that used to play AA Baseball . So next weekend as my knees hurt and my lungs burn, just when I don't think I can do it anymore I will remember how hard my Dad and Grandma fought until the end. No matter how long it takes me I will cross the finish line.