Saturday, July 17, 2010

Much more Muchier

I come here, I read my blog roll. I laugh, cry, scowl but I have been slacking at posting. I don't feel like I have wisdom to share. I have found some strange peaceful place I have never known. Before in my old body I felt so out of control. My world was spinning, I was grasping. I took everything so personally. I had lost my wit, my spunk or as the Mad Hatter would say my muchness.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, muchness means "the quality or state of being in great quantity, extent, or degree." What the Mad Hatter was talking about, in his odd and slightly hysterical way, was that Alice had lost some of who she used to be. He was inferring that she had lost some of the true essence of herself as she'd grown older.
I hadn't lost my muchness due to growing older but due to growing bigger. I had no idea what I had lost until I started to get it back. I forgot that I was funny, sarcastic, smart, confident, open minded and beautiful. I was beat down, defeated, angry and so very sad.
  Getting my muchness back has been as much as an experience as losing all of this weight.  I am glad I am now much more muchier :o)
Another bit of peace that has been brought upon me came in an even more unexpected form. My face. In the last 30 or so pounds my face has changed a lot. I started to notice about 6 months ago that I was starting to look like my father. I miss him so much that when the wrinkles came and my jaw line peaked out I smiled. Recently my brother saw me and mentioned that he was surprised at how much I looked like our dad. I now look in the mirror and see so much of what I was starting to forget. His eyes, laugh lines, forehead's all there staring right back at me.
Who would of ever thought I could of gained so much by losing?


ShellyD said...

You are looking fabulous and are an inspiration!!


Anonymous said...

From one daddy's girl to another, well said.

Post a Comment